An Old Advice

This is a 16-year-old story. An old story with an evergreen advice from a very wise lady. I have always hanged on to her advice and it’s a good time to share it with my two sisters and to all who may benefit from it.

I remembered sitting with her as she quietly weaved the bunga telur for Bang Jai’s wedding. We chatted about so many things, when suddenly she had this worried look on her face. So I asked her, “kenapa?”. After a long silence she looked me in the eyes and said…

“You may not like what I’m going to say, but I feel I must. If I don’t say this now, I feel like…there will be an unfinished task for me in my life.”

“One day you will get married, and you will get married to a wonderful guy (she chuckled) and you will find my advice useful…”

“When you are a wife, take care of your husband’s good name. Jaga diri, jaga perwatakan..and mostly jaga hati and nama baik your husband’s family”

“When you have children of your own, you have to remember that they are a mirror of your own self. If you don’t like what they are doing, look a good look at yourself first then only look at them. Don’t punish them for things that we are doing ourselves"

“When you are both a wife and a mother, please do not forget that you are also someone’s daughter. So take cautious of the feelings and welfare of your own parents and siblings too”

At that time, I laughed at her advice. And she laughed too. Both of us talked of some other things that day.

She had her 27th birthday coming up the following week.

And she passed away a day later. That was (by far) the saddest day in my life. She left two small children (and my brother) behind. One day, I hope to pass on her legacy to her children.

Dodek and Pona – You were too small to remember this then. But now is the time I pass this on to you.

May Allah bless her soul…